Are You Loving and Accepting Yourself?

I found myself in therapy earlier this week. (Yes, coaches need therapy too!).

I hit the jackpot with a sweet young woman from the Austin Mindfulness Center. The core of their work is mindfulness and acceptance of ourselves with committed action to values that serve our highest good. (Sounds pretty ideal, right?).

The Ah-ha moment of the session came to me when I was relaying stories from a traumatic history I had with an ex and how I was still struggling with the pain.  Despite all the healing work I had done, I was still experiencing the negative consequences of the pain, leaving me feeling baffled, frustrated, and confused as to how to let it go.  I felt embarrassed because, as a coach(and a polyamorous coach at that!), I was able to help others in all kinds of relationships; and yet, for some reason I was unable to help myself.  And… I didn’t know what to do to shift that.

She asked me if I accepted the part of myself that had been traumatized.

I was dumbfounded.

In that moment, I realized that all this time I had been unwilling to even consider that as an option because I’d been so mad and upset with myself for being involved with that kind of person, in that kind of relationship, trying to push away and avoid the pain, yet… it persisted.

In that moment, I could see how much of me I had been keeping in the dark, hidden from my own self love and self care.  Wow!  And to think what might be possible when I consciously love and accept all of those parts of myself I have been hiding away!!!

I left that session feeling lighter than I had felt in a very long time. It was as if a cloak had been lifted off of me and it was now okay for me to come out of hiding.  I no longer had to pretend to be strong, pretend to be confident, in the face of my fears, my insecurities, and my anxieties.  I didn’t have to pretend to be anything.  I could be me… and that was perfectly okay.

And so, I offer this advice, this tip to you. May it touch a place in you that is longing to be seen, loved, and healed.

Laurie Ellington

Laurie Ellington

Relationship Coach at LaurieEllington.com
I teach people how to break through false beliefs and negative behavior patterns. I offer my clients tools that empower their life and their relationships.
Laurie Ellington

 

 

 

 

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